Stop Sending your Daughters, Sons to Live in Parish, Catholic Priest Warns Parents
“A Catholic priest, Rev. Fr. Chidi Philip, warns Nigerian parents against sending minors to live in parish rectories for ‘training’, citing risks to children, priests, and the Church.”
A Catholic priest, Rev. Fr. Chidi Philip, has cautioned Nigerian parents against sending their young sons and daughters to live permanently with priests under the guise of “training” for priesthood.
The young cleric said the practice exposes both children and priests to avoidable risks, misunderstandings, and emotional or spiritual harm.
According to him, while mistakes can occur in any human setting, there is one recurring error parents must urgently stop—sending minors to reside in parish rectories as a form of informal clerical formation.
He stressed that keeping children away from parish rectories is essential to protecting the welfare of the child, the integrity of the priest, and the image of the Church.
In a strongly worded statement, Fr. Philip said:
“For the sake of the child and the priest, stop sending your son or daughter to live with priests in the parish rectory.”
He referenced a recent viral video by social media influencer VeryDarkMan, in which a Catholic priest was falsely accused of wrongdoing after allowing a boy to assist him in the parish.
“Thankfully, the truth eventually came out and his name was cleared,” he noted. “Still, the emotional and spiritual trauma of false accusations can be devastating, especially when all one intended was to help.”
Fr. Philip emphasised that priests, like everyone else, are human and fallible.
“Nobody is perfect. Priests are human. Families are human. Mistakes happen. But one mistake we must stop making is sending our children to live permanently with priests ‘for training’,” he said.
He clarified that the parish rectory is not designed for child upbringing or priestly formation.
“The rectory is not a seminary. The priest’s house is not a boarding school. And a priest is not a substitute parent,” he stated.
“Children may visit occasionally for guidance or mentorship, but living permanently in a priest’s house is neither wise nor safe—spiritually, emotionally, or psychologically.”
The priest acknowledged that cultural expectations often pressured clergy into accepting children into their homes.
“In our culture, it is difficult for priests to say no to relatives or parishioners. Many accept simply to avoid conflict or misunderstanding,” he said.
However, he warned that the priesthood itself is a demanding vocation.
“A priest’s life is a battlefield—spiritually, emotionally, and sometimes physically. When priests cannot be attacked directly, the attack may come through those closest to them, including children living under their roof.”
Beyond spiritual concerns, he highlighted human risks such as scandals, false accusations, emotional dependency, abuse of trust, and blurred boundaries.
“Even when no wrongdoing exists, the appearance of impropriety alone can destroy reputations and lives,” he warned.
Fr. Philip lamented cases where children informally attached to priests—often referred to as ‘Father’s boy’ or ‘Father’s daughter’—end up confused about boundaries, faith, and authority.
“This is not an attack on priests or families,” he said. “It is about protecting everyone.”
He called on Catholic dioceses to regulate the practice more strictly.
“There should be clear rules—no minors living permanently in rectories, no informal ‘training to become a priest,’ and no blurred relationships,” he urged.
Addressing parents directly, Fr. Philip advised those whose children currently live in parish rectories to bring them home.
“Let them return to their families and experience a normal childhood,” he said.
He warned that some children emerge from such environments emotionally wounded, spiritually confused, or even alienated from the Church.
“Support priests. Love priests. Respect priests. But do not turn the rectory into a boarding house,” he concluded.
“Protect your children. Protect your priests. Protect the Church. Sometimes the best help is simply to say, ‘Father, thank you—but my child will stay at home.”
